She said, “those clothes look like shit, falling off like they’re trying to run away faster than you are… and didn’t you just buy those two weeks ago? Can’t you see what you are doing to yourself? You are hurting everyone around you. You looked good two weeks ago.. but now, you look like a fucking sack of bones that fell out of the closet behind my closet.”
Well, I said.. it’s not really something I choose to do every day.. I don’t know.. it chooses me like it has a hold on me, a grip around my throat and I can’t scream anymore. It’s not about my size or your size or her size or anybody’s size. It’s bigger than that, just bigger… too much to explain.. too big for me to handle anymore. They are making me stay again.. I don’t care anymore.
“Well you need to care..” she said. “This is your life… you have people who care about you and you’re just throwing that away like you don’t give a shit..”
And I do… I do give a shit. I’m trying. That’s all I have.. I am trying. It’s the best I have right now. It’s the best I have.