Maybe unwell describes me too mildly, sounds too pretty like a lie fluffed up, pretending to be a reality, and we know that’s not me. Let’s be honest and describe it more accurately. Throw out the pretty packaging that covers me, open that plain old box of truth and man, sometimes it’s ugly. Bat-shit crazy, go ahead and say it, off the fucking rocker mad, lost my shit, I’m no longer rocking, somewhere along the way time stood still, the lights went out and never came back. I lost track. Monday or Friday, it’s all the same to me. The sun threw a shadow to cover its eyes when I wished for the dark to teach me a lesson, and that’s the one wish that decided to come true, so I’m learning it. Feeling my way through the dark, thinking about wishing for amnesia to wipe away my thoughts before they kill me, or maybe I’ll stay silent and toss the thoughts a dare. I’m not scared. Bring it all at once, I’ve been there before, I can take some more. And this could be the curse I earned for making the misery contagious enough, it brings more company to my door and calls me home sweet home. Well, welcome home, beautiful misery, lovely, weak demons, I know you like the back of my hand across my own heart, promise. Broken image trying to be me, you can’t master it… took me years to shatter this way, lost it all one day, like overnight lasted a minute before freezing time precisely when I lost my mind. I think the sun took it, used it for the dark to make that shadow, gave part of it to the moon and it went crazy too. Told the stars to avoid me when they fall because I do it so much better. But not anymore. I stopped falling when I hit the lowest spot, nowhere left to fall, and I don’t believe in flying. So I lay here in the dark, with these demons, this misery, and the conversations we have that I have been starving for. I can’t possibly ask for more.