Looking for Light

I catch myself trying to pen words that spill positivity as if I have a message that will inspire you somehow to be a better version of yourself today.

But I always stop myself, because those words I try to force are fiction and I don’t want to lie to myself. Same as I don’t want to lie to you.

I could write a few trendy lines about how the stars wait to collect your wishes, shoot across the night sky to make those wishes come true and bring them straight to you. But I can’t do it.

As much as I’d love to rip out of this skin, be someone different and paint myself in a light that always shines in a good way, that’s just not who I am, maybe that’s who I’ll never be.

I’m on a journey to myself and honestly, I’m not sure I have found my light yet, so I don’t want to blind you with the dull sparkle of false shine that only breaks into a lie in the end. This darkness…sometimes it’s all I have, but I am trying to stop holding it like the hand of a best friend, always pulling me the wrong way.

I want to go the right way. I want you to go with me. But only to the place where the light shines true, even if it’s ugly.

So ride with me in the darkness, until I find the light I’m searching for, and when I find it, I will share all of it with you.

-Stephanie Bennett-Henry

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