Words Escaping

It hurts sometimes,

the way my tongue presses hard

against the roof of my mouth

attempting to hold back the tears

when someone is watching.

I have emptied my heart

by way of my throat,

silencing the howl lying in wait

to rip up through my eyes

and tell a story not ready to be told.

I close my eyes tight,

hoping it closes the book

where that story waits,

but it only opens the wound wider,

only burns my eyes

with this river waiting to pour.

Biting my lips doesn’t silence

the words that beg to come out

and I tell them,

“You are not ready yet.

Get back in there, dry yourself off,

you smell like pain, you look like a

broken fucking mess. No one wants

to hear the way you are drenched in

my sobs. Get your shit together

or I will never speak of you.”

Those words… they never listen.

They want to be seen as they are.

They want to be filthy and true.

They are always trying to find ways

to escape this hell of me,

trying to find ways to douse the flames

burning my insides…

trying to make me cry like they do.

I take a deep breath, close my eyes,

hoping those words burn

before they gather hands

and tell a story that may be

the death of me.

-Stephanie Bennett-Henry

#stephaniebennetthenry