I am almost sure it’s holding out on me, waiting to surprise me when I least expect it, with something that makes it all worth it. Where it shows up with my purpose unfolded in such a way, it opens my eyes, turns my vision of this path crystal clear. Giving me that moment I have waited for where I look back at the climb, the falls, the getting back up again, and it all fits together to make perfect sense. Shows me the hell I had to walk through was never in vain. Shows me every single time I asked why me and I will know the answer like the back of my hand. Finally I will understand the bad things I had to endure time and again to get to this path here and now. When that day comes, if it comes, I think the sky will part, grab part of my heart, and everything I’ve never been able to let go of will fall away leaving me as whole and hopeful as I have ever been. Like another chance, a new birth, a silence that brings peace to my heart, and hushes the pain I have cradled since I started here. This life…I am sure. I am waiting. I am ready.