Saving the Pain

I tucked my chaos on the inside, hidden out of sight, thinking maybe my mind would forget it. It never forgets. It runs through my blood, grows solid in my bones, making up part of who I am. I learned how to embrace it as though it is the fire inside that keeps my wild brewing hot, boiling just right to keep me out of the stereotypical box of what the world calls normal. So be it. How could I not open my arms to welcome every part of myself that keeps me from being caged in that so called box? Who would I be anyway without the chaos? The madness in my eyes, spinning through my heart, circling my tongue with these very words that don’t always make sense, but they taste too sweet to waste. I would never spit them out or swallow them down to let them disappear. I write them down,sloppy as they may appear, my heart disagrees. My heart says they are perfect in that moment when they are first scribbled down. The split second moment when some of my heart empties itself, the cracks fill in little by little. The scars smooth out, in the art of this healing and my mind releases thoughts until they are no longer as heavy as the past I shouldn’t carry. So, I don’t try to hide the chaos anymore. I release it, recreate it, turn it into something beautiful; I save the pain for the Poetry.

-Stephanie Bennett-Henry

#stephaniebennetthenry

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