Everything is not okay.
I am not fine.
But I can be because that’s what
you want to hear.
I’m smiling so fucking big,
but my face doesn’t move.
Maybe I’m smiling on the inside
is what I tell you…
and you believe it every time.
Even though you know it’s not true,
it could never be true.
But the truth is a funny thing…
messy like secrets
swept under that magic carpet.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It never even happened.
Didn’t it, though?
Your priorities are fucked sometimes,
most of the time.
I deserve this… all of it.
But I don’t want it, so take it.
Take it all.
Leave me with nothing
but the stains from the dreams
I once had,
smeared dirty under that rug.
Leave the rug.
I will gather the truth from beneath,
filthy as it may be,
hold it for a while
before I make you taste it.
The way it hurts when you finally
swallow it, the way it burns your insides
just enough to make you sick.
Tell me how it tastes
after you acknowledge it.
Tell me if you approve of the way
the truth thickens
when it sits so long.
Then tell me how much you love me
under this roof built solid
with nothing more than
a flimsy fucking deck of cards,
and I’ll say, love you too,
despite the collapse,
despite the rug, despite your perfected
ability to look the other way
any time it fucking matters..
And in spite of me
because that’s what I taught myself
I deserve…
because that’s what you taught me
I deserve.
I’ll even thank you.
-Stephanie Bennett-Henry
#stephaniebennetthenry
Maintaining a relationship
despite pain enduring
despite history overlooked
despite denial denied
despite understanding absent
despite all that and words unsaid
So complicated,
but done
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❤️
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Stephanie Bennett-Henry – What to do with the truth?
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Thank you
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