This Mountain

This road…

it’s not a road at all.

Look again

See it through my eyes.

I’ve never seen a mountain

bigger than the world

like this one in front of me.

Listen.

Can you hear that?

There’s a echo

carried by the wind.

It’s my heart.

Beating out of my chest.

I am scared to death.

I have lived my whole life

in a comfort zone,

here on the ground.

No mountains to climb

No rivers to cross

I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

I don’t.

There has always been someone

throwing me a life raft,

even when I wasn’t close

to drowning.

I’ve always known safe.

I drew a line a long time ago

and never thought of crossing it

because the other side

was unknown.

I’ve never been one to break

that pattern.

Familiarity is how I stay warm.

I guess I’m a habit

I can’t break.

These ways…

as much as I want to stomp them

and spit change onto them

until the colors start to run,

I am cold steel bars sometimes,

chains I put around myself

and the key has been lost for so long.

I created this place as a child.

A self made prison of

god please keep me safe,

anyone… anywhere.. please.

I found myself there

in the silence

of closed doors

where screams are never heard.

I locked the door.

The solitude was safe.

But years went by

and this room became me.

My voice hammered into the walls

like a nail that won’t come out.

And I don’t know how to get out.

These walls know me

better than I know myself.

I boarded myself up in here

without thinking about

ever wanting to peek out.

There’s no windows here.

But my heart knows the way

and the view

is the only beautiful thing

I’ve seen in my life.

So, I’m planning to make a run for it.

The journey is long and the road

is endless mountains

and rocky terrain.

I will fall a hundred times

before I get to you,

but when I get to you,

the only place I’m falling

is into your arms and

I will never lock the door again.

I’m about to climb

the first mountain of my life

with the biggest fight I have

and when I’m done,

I will slip in like the night

that never left your side;

Open the windows, love,

I am coming home.

-Stephanie Bennett-Henry

#stephaniebennetthenry

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “This Mountain

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s