The Color of a Lie 

The blood is thick here 

circling around cold hearts 

constantly trying to take my hand, 

but never to hold it. 

All eyes on me, looking like home, 

I stare into them, memorize them, 

until I recognize the color 

of a lie folded over, disguised 

like a mask that looks familiar; 

I have been here before. 

I don’t want to be anymore. 

I see my spine in your eyes

turned weak, I see my heart 

in your mouth as you chew it up; 

well spit it out… I want it back. 

I’m not taking your hand 

so you can pull me to the place 

you think I should go. 

I know where my dreams are, 

I remember the way. 

I have emptied your eyes, 

taken back what’s mine. 

Don’t follow me.  

I will follow my heart 

for the first time in so long. 

You can taste your own words, 

feel the sharp edges 

of all you made me swallow, 

and finally understand this 

complicated sadness of me

came from your hands, dripping 

with jokes I never laughed at

and hearts I stopped trying 

to warm into a home. 

 -Stephanie Bennett-Henry © 2017